McCain and Obama traded jokes instead of negative attack ads. Obama’s comedy routine made me smile.

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I do love the Waldorf-Astoria, though. You know, I hear that from the doorstep you can see all the way to the Russian tea room…

In the last few weeks, John’s been out on the campaign trail and asked the question, who is Barack Obama? I have to admit I was a little surprised by this question. The answer is right there on my Facebook page. But, look, I don’t want to be coy about this. We’re a couple weeks from an important election. Americans have a big choice to make, and if anybody feels like they don’t know me by now, let me try to give you some answers. Who is Barack Obama? Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jorel to save the Planet Earth. Many of you – many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for “That One.” And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn’t think I’d ever run for president. If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it’s possible that I’m a little too awesome…

Here’s another revelation, John McCain is on to something. There was a point in my life when I started palling around with a pretty ugly crowd. I’ve got to be honest, these guys were serious dead beats. They were low lifes, unrepentant, no-good punks. That’s right. I’ve been a member of the United States Senate…

Then at one of these campaign rallies, someone in the crowd started yelling, No-Bama, announcing to everyone in the room that I shouldn’t be the Democratic nominee because there were far more qualified candidates. I really wish Joe Biden hadn’t done that. [Barack Obama]

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Events are moving fast in my campaign. And, yes, it’s true that this morning I dismissed my entire team of senior advisers. All of their positions will now be held by a man named “Joe the Plumber.” Already – and already, my friends, my opponents have been subjecting Joe to their vicious attack machines. His veracity has been questioned by Barack Obama’s running mate Joe the six term senator. He claims that this honest, hardworking small businessman could not possibly have enough income to face a tax increase under the Obama plan. What they don’t know – what they don’t know is “Joe the Plumber” recently signed a very lucrative contract with a wealthy couple to handle all the work on all seven of their houses. This campaign needed the common touch of a working man. After all, it began so long ago with the heralded arrival of a man known to Oprah Winfrey as “The One.” Being a friend and colleague of Barack, I just called him that one. And he – my friends, he doesn’t mind at all. In fact, he even has a pet name for me – George Bush…

So, you know, I had fun with the media and we all know the press is really an independent, civic-minded and nonpartisan group, like ACORN…In case you haven’t been following my opponent’s get out the vote campaign, ACORN is helping to register groups previously excluded, overlooked and underserved – second graders, the deceased, Disney characters. In Florida, they even turned up an ACORN registration form that bore the name of one Mickey Mouse. We’re checking the paw prints. Although, I might let that one go, I’m pretty sure the big rat’s a Republican. Anyway, we all know that Senator Obama is ready for any contingency – even the possibility of a sudden and dramatic market rebound. I’m told that at the first sign of recovery, he will suspend his campaign and fly immediately to Washington to address this crisis. [John McCain]

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